Sometimes the most important thing we can do is listen

By Tracey Dobson, President & CEO, Mountain Valley

When we talk about caring for patients and families at Mountain Valley, we often talk about listening. I believe it is one of the most important things we can do for another person, particularly when they are going through a difficult or uncertain time.

Listening sounds simple. It isn’t.

Really listening means being present. It means resisting the temptation to assume we already know what someone needs. It means giving people the time and space to tell us what they are feeling, what they are worried about, what matters to them and how we can help.

Our Spiritual Care Coordinator, Joann Menefee, expresses that beautifully in the video below.

What strikes me most about Joann’s comments is where she begins: “I want to listen.”

Before the prayer. Before the scripture. Before the song. She listens.

Joann understands that no two patients or families are exactly alike. Every person comes to us with a different life story, different relationships, different beliefs, different fears and different sources of comfort. Caring for someone well means taking the time to understand the person in front of us rather than assuming we know what they need.

For Joann, that may mean finding a passage of scripture that speaks to what a patient or family is experiencing. It may mean praying with them. And sometimes, wonderfully, it means singing.

I love hearing her talk about arriving at a patient’s home and having someone ask, “Are you going to sing? I heard you sing.”

There is something very human about that.

Hospice care involves important clinical work. We manage pain and symptoms. We coordinate medications and equipment. We educate and support caregivers. All of those things are essential.

But caring for someone at the end of life also requires us to recognize that we are caring for a whole person—and often for an entire family.

There are emotional needs. Spiritual needs. Questions about meaning, relationships, faith, fear, grief and what comes next. Sometimes people need answers. Sometimes they need reassurance. And sometimes they simply need someone willing to sit with them and listen.

That is why spiritual care is such an important part of the interdisciplinary care we provide at Mountain Valley. It isn’t about approaching every patient with the same answer. It is about meeting people where they are and understanding what brings comfort and meaning to them.

I also think Joann’s approach reflects something larger about the kind of culture we want at Mountain Valley.

We talk a lot about patient-centered care. To me, patient-centered care begins with curiosity and humility. We can’t truly center care around another person unless we’re willing to listen to them first.

That applies to our patients. It applies to their families and caregivers. And it applies to the way we care for one another as colleagues.

Listening tells another person: You matter. Your story matters. What you’re experiencing matters. I’m here.

Sometimes we can help solve a problem. Sometimes we can ease a symptom or answer a question. And sometimes there isn’t anything we can say that will make a difficult situation less difficult.

But we can still be present.

We can listen.

And, if we’re fortunate enough to have Joann nearby, there might even be a song.

At Mountain Valley, we say Every Moment Matters. I think some of the moments that matter most begin when we stop talking and give someone else the opportunity to be heard.